“Imma need you to go regulate” lol. That’s what I told my husband this week when he came out from the office barking orders at the girls around cleaning up the upstairs landing. I can tell the level of stress he is under by the timbre in his voice and the number of infractions he lists in a single breath. Why do we project onto others when we are stressed, tired, and emotionally dysregulated? Perhaps it is a combination of our disposition and how we are socialized to handle the pressure by our culture and familial upbringing. Regardless of the various ways we have come to “show out” when we are stressed, the fact remains that we need to be aware of when we “show our ass”, pick fights, give the silent treatment, binge netflix, etc.
Here is where mindfulness can help.
The more time and attention we give to our thoughts in a non-judgemental way the more we “see clearly.” How can we ever seek to change a behavior if we can’t pinpoint the “when” and sometimes "why" behind it. If you find yourself being super reactive and being pulled in the not-so-healthy behaviors that have become your go-to for coping, remember, you can always R.I.S.E.
Rest in the present moment. Become of narrowly focused in the moment you are in
Immerse yourself in the emotions of the moment. Feel the energy of irritation scrambling your focus and igniting your emotions.
Set an intention. Compassion. Take a breath.
Expand your awareness and be open to surrender to the discomfort in the present moment and watch your body-mind move through the dysregulation. Be kind and gracious to yourself. We are all just doing the best we can with what we’ve got.
For more information and practical ways to incorporate R.I.S.E in your life. Register HERE for the free Virtual Wellness retreat.