This week the mindfulness exercise was to do a "body scan." This involves getting into a comfortable position whether sitting or lying down and bringing particular areas of the body into awareness and then moving on. The goal was to really strengthen the mind's ability to be aware in a particular moment, zooming in to the mind's sensing abilities of a particular area. Feeling the way my clothes felt against my body. The way my back gently kissed the floor with each breath. The fact that my right leg lies a little straighter than the other were just a few of the the sensations I encountered when doing this meditation. I was curious about what else I could find out about my body this past week and I was really excited about meditating. But alas life happened to me in a major way. so I unfortunately only did one of the guided "body scan" meditations from the 8 week mindfulness plan. I'm thinking about repeating week 2 before moving on to week 3 but I think I want a fresh start for next week.
This week was my first full week back to work. It was a lot. a lot. a lot. During Maternity leave I realized a very important fact. Even without working my life is hella busy and I have more than enough to do to fill my days to capacity. To some extent I was excited about "outsourcing" the raising of my kids to school and daycare so I could have a "break" and go back to work. Unfortunately working two jobs, Mom and Nurse Practitioner, was equally taxing as "stay at home" mom. What made things especially challenging this week was the fact the my partner in crime was away on business Monday and Tuesday so I was flying solo which was no fun at all. I am seriously outnumbered and the kiddos don't even care. Perhaps one of the more challenging things I had to do this week was to center myself and be in the moment when my #2 came downstairs and told me she couldn't sleep because she kept worrying about her daddy. worrying something was going to happen to him. So in my head I'm thinking, girl, if you don't get your little booty back in that bed. I'm done with you all for the night. I'm off, I've clocked out and if you wake up that baby there will be hell to pay. BUT instead I gently led her back to her bed. got in beside her and talked about how we are going to focus on what is going on right now at this moment.
I reassured her that I talked to daddy 1 min ago and he was going to sleep in his bed in the hotel room. Nice and cozy and that we are grateful for that. I then reminded her that we are here, laying in her bed together, cuddling, nice and cozy and that we are grateful for that. I then had her practice"finding her breath." This is something I had done with her before because I noticed pretty early on that my 6 old was a bit of a worry wart. I had her place her hand on her belly. I asked her did she feel her belly lifting up against her hand and then lowering back down. Each time I asked if her hand was any closer to her bed or ceiling. I asked her to think about the air she is "drinking" coming into her belly and then blowing it back out filling her room. Then I suggested we just lay there and listen to her breath quietly for a few moments. It was so relaxing she was asleep within minutes and I was on my way. I got up closed her bedroom door and hoped that the next time I saw her beautiful face was in the morning. I walked down the hallway and took a few deep breaths myself...I still had to Pump/store some milk and make lunches for tomorrow.
