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Alone...but not

Lord have mercy...Quarantine will test a marriage and motherhood. lol

During this time of quarantine due to COVID-19, our family has been spending a lot of time together. The dance of ebbing in and out of each others spaces has been difficult to navigate for some members of our family more than others. I am an introvert, I retreat inward for rest and regeneration. I am also an empath with means I feel very deeply others emotional states. I NEED Space to pull my shit together so I don't feel so emotionally spent. So to say the least being at home has posed some boundary challenges for such a person as myself living with extroverted and expressive children and a wonderfully "touchy feely" husband. So for me I have found a practice that has saved me for the past couple weeks. Will it be enough to keep me sane for the next few weeks of quarantine? To be determined...

Being alone without being ALONE. I find that I am more successful at this concept if I am outdoors. So when I am outside tending to flowers, pulling weeds or literally just standing in the driveway, if the girls find me (which they inevitably do) instead of getting pissed off at their dad for not keeping them entertained for a few minutes while I have some time alone, I intentionally accept the moment. It is what it is and I then give them some task to do or let them play with an outdoor activity (usually slime which is not allowed in the house.) I then am able to zoom in and mindfully complete my task, feeling the dirt between my gloves or Listening to the wind whistle. I sometimes listen to the different inflection in kids' little voices. Zooming in and observing without using my mind to analyze what I am hearing or seeing. Just using the senses is really how I become fully present. This presence gives my mind/worries/emotions a much needed break. Permission to turn off and just BE. These few moments often times interspersed though out the day has been essential in giving me these little micro boost of rejuvenation and the feeling of being Alone without actually being alone. I do need to build in some time to actually be alone so that will definitely be a conversation I will be having with the hubby very soon in order for our marriage to survive this time of quarantine.

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