I came across a meditation that involves some very powerful imagery for me. I was struggling this week. Samuel was out of town for a couple of days and it was me and the girls. He has gone out of town before but this was the second week in a row when our week flow was interrupted by a work trip smack in the middle. I was spent, mentally, emotionally. I could not even stand the sound of all the tumbling and activity coming from upstairs. I was so overstimulated. I really felt like I had nothing else to give. So this meditation was right on time this week. Calling upon something outside of yourself to draw strength and compassion from.
The Love circle meditation involves bringing to remembrance any person or symbol at any time in your life or history that gives you life; that brings about feelings of love and empowerment. So this week I had a chance to do this meditation twice. I escaped to my haven (my closet) and sat in the middle and imagined generations of mothers, my ancestors who despite tremendous amounts of pain and suffering travailed. Nurturing the next generation from whatever they had is so inspiring to me. At my weakest, I drew on their strength and perseverance. I was compassionate and forgiving with my self. I gave my self permission to be imperfect and to "drop balls."I breathed in the energy of past mothers who endured and overcame. I embraced the force behind motherhood. The strength of motherhood. I allowed the power of generations of mothers imbue my very being in those moments of meditation. And in those moments it was just enough to give me the motivation to go on.